Mohawk

Isn't he adorable?

Griffin's signature hairstyle has always been a mohawk...even in the hospital. I have buzzed it several times, but it has always grown back right into the mohawk. This summer I decided that I want to grow out his hair. No more buzzing for this little guy. Because of this, we had to stop putting his hair in the mohawk. It was too long and crazy. We've been training it to lay flat and it is finally growing past his little ears (he has pretty good hair for a boy).

Today I decided to give him a mohawk, just to see how tall it would be. It's been at least 6 weeks since we've done it. Here is the result. Although, I don't think you can tell from the pictures how tall it really is. In real life it is a good 3 1/2, maybe 4 inches tall. Insane. These pictures were all captured when I was trying to get him to hold still so I could get a shot of his hair.

In other news about Griffin. He is still a temperamental little guy. He loves what he loves, and he hates everything else. He is very busy and loves chasing his siblings around and screaming really loud. He also loves to tackle Lila. She loves it too. He is just starting to talk. Some of his words at 13 months are: Mama, Dadda, Banana, Cat, Car, Dora, No, & Milk. He understands everything we say and listens pretty well. He also loves to pull Lila's hair. It's like a freakish obsession. He knows not to do it, but he just can't help himself. Luckily, she is pretty forgiving.

This one would've been a good one to show how tall it is except for the fact that I cut off the top of the hair. DUH!

How Did I Forget to Post These?

Katie holding newborn Griffin when we stopped at Mom's house on our way home from the hospital.

So, let me back up about 13 months. First, how on earth did I forget to post these pictures? I love them...they are priceless. For those who don't know, Katie is my 1st baby. She was born when I was 13 and I have been in love with her ever since. I spent most of my teenage years taking care of her and hanging out with her mother. Back then I always told my Mom that I loved Katie just as much I would love my own children. She always told me I was wrong and when I had my own children I would understand. Well, 4 kids of my own later and I can say my Mom was most definitely WRONG!!! I absolutely love Katie just as much as my own. She is so special to me and was such a great kid, and now a wonderful teenager.

When I got married, the one thing I wanted for my wedding was to have Katie there. She was 7 or 8 at the time and her family had her fly out with my Mom and Dad. She was able to stay with me and we had an awesome time. It was one of the best parts of the wedding!

Anyway, last summer Katie was coming out to Utah for EFY and was going to stay with my parents for about a week. It looked like I was going to be induced with Griffin while she was at BYU and she would miss the birth, but luckily it didn't happen that way. Just a day after Katie flew out here, little Griffin was born. Katie was able to come to the hospital to see me and she also helped my Mom take care of my other kids for a few days.

Jackson and Sunny were in love with her. Sunny still talks about her and wants to be 15 (even though I've tried to explain that Katie is 16 now). She wants to dress like Katie did and asks me if Katie would like certain outfits. It is too funny.

August 2009

In the hospital with brand new baby Griffin

Katie was so good with the big kids. It reminded me of myself with her when she was little

Love the matching peace necklaces. Sunny wore hers for months until it fell apart

(And, for those of you who might be wondering...Katie is where Sunny got her obsession with being a hippy and peace signs. And yes, the obsession is still going strong.)

We love you Katie!

2nd Day of School

Well, since I was a little preoccupied on the first day of school, here are some pictures from day number 2. (My friend does have pictures from the first day...she is awesome:)

My big 2nd grader.

Then and Now

What a difference a year makes!

I Can Do Hard Things

I've written this post a million times in my head, but haven't been able to make myself actually write it here until now. I'm sure most of you who read this already know our sad news, but I think there are a few people who haven't heard. I've debated whether or not I wanted to write about this on the blog at all, since I don't usually post really personal things, but I decided today to just go ahead and tell the story. Maybe it'll help me feel better, I hope so, but I doubt it.

On August 17th, I was 12 1/2 weeks pregnant and went to my first real doctors appointment. I knew something was wrong, only I didn't want to admit it. I just chalked it up to me being extra paranoid. There wasn't anything wrong. I wasn't having any problems. I was still absolutely and completely sick, just like I had been for the past few months. Turns out I wasn't paranoid, I was right. When the doctor did the ultrasound, there on the screen was my sweet, perfect looking little baby...except it didn't have a heartbeat anymore.

I cannot tell you how sickening that moment felt. The Doctor measured the baby and it looked like the heart had stopped beating just a few days before. I wanted to scream and cry... or both, but I didn't. I talked to the doctor about our options and we decided that at this point in the pregnancy, with me still being very sick, that the best thing to do would be to have a D & C. It was scheduled for the 19th.

I walked out to the car where Ryan and the kids were waiting and got in. I could hardly get the words out, but I did. I have lost a baby before, between my girls, but I was only 8 weeks, and the kids didn't know yet. I told my sweet kids that the baby they were so anxiously awaiting would not be coming home with us in February. I told them that the baby, the same one who just the day before they were fighting over who got to hold first after it was born, had died. They were quiet for a minute and then one of them piped up, "Do we still get to have bunk beds?" That made me laugh and I told them yes.

I had surgery on the 19th, it wasn't a big deal and I felt okay right afterward. The next two days though I just kept getting worse. I was having horrible pain and by Sunday night I went to the ER. An ultrasound showed that after the D&C, my uterus had filled up with blood. This is a fairly rare complication. My Doctor said he has only had it happen 3 times. I ended up having to have a second D&C on the 25th, because we were worried that I might hemorrhage at home.

The second surgery was very difficult. I had a horrible time in recovery and needed lots of extra medicine. I didn't even get to see Ryan for an hour because I wasn't stable. It was miserable and I ended up being severely anemic because I had lost so much blood. The recovery has been very slow. It has been a week since the second surgery and I am just now starting to get back to myself, and even then it's a really slowed down version of myself.

This has been such an awful experience. I feel so much guilt because I was so sick all summer that I barely got off the couch and the poor older kids had to take on so much responsibility. I really felt like all those months were for nothing. Then I got a message from a sweet friend who told me something that gave me such comfort.

She said that "some little spirits just need a body." So simple, so true. It made such a difference for me because I absolutely believe that is true. And, if that is true then those months weren't for nothing. They were for something very important and they had an extremely valuable purpose.

While this has been a truly sad experience for us, I have also been amazed at how much joy I have been able to find. My neighbors ( I don't know why I call them neighbors, they are really my friends) have been so wonderful. They have fed us, been so supportive of us, and been amazing with my children. My 2nd surgery was on the first day of school and I was so upset that I wouldn't be able to take Jack and Sunny. My friend took them and took pictures and walked them to where they were supposed to be, and checked on them in their classrooms. Everything I wanted to do, but couldn't It doesn't get any better than that.

I have learned many things during this experience, but the one that has impacted me the most is the realization that

"I CAN DO HARD THINGS"

I really don't like to, and I hope I don't have to do anything else hard any time soon, but I can do hard things.

Five

1, 2, 3, 4 . . .

and

#5

(coming Feb. 2011)

Mr.G's 12-Month Check-Up

I decided to try and get a few pictures of Griff this afternoon. It started off with me taking him outside and trying to get a cute pose. That lasted for all of 10 seconds before this happened...

He obviously thought it would be fun to get up and try to escape the photo shoot...

He's getting to be a pretty good little walker, that's for sure. I miss the days when they stay where you put them.

Then we moved inside, because obviously the grass wasn't doing it for Griffin. But, we had the same problem. This time he kept going for the piano.

Ahhh, success!

Took him to the doctor today and my "Big" boy is not so big anymore.

20 lbs 14 oz -- 21st%
30 inches -- 60th%

18 inch head -- 31st% (up from the 10th%, whoo-hoo)

So, my big boy is now a little boy, but I knew he wasn't going to stay big forever. He is actually a few ounces smaller than Jackson was at that age. They are very similar in size, which I think is pretty cute.

Sunny helped me take him to the doctor, and she is hilarious. She wore a new dress and she whispered to me how she hoped Dr. Wilcox would notice. Well, of course he did. That is how wonderful he is. He came in and told her how pretty her dress was and that he thought she should wear it on the first day of first grade. He also asked her what she had been doing lately and she told him all about how she learned to drive a boat (pictures coming). She was thrilled with all the attention!